Boomettes, what a fine start to the season, a 3-1 away win at Crawley. Excellent. Everyone at Vale Park is very cheerful, including Uncle Norman.
Now there may be some amongst you who think that Uncle Norman is a professional meanie, but Boomettes, that’s just not true. Underneath that brusque exterior lies consideration and compassion, and this week your mascot has been the beneficiary of those qualities.
You see Boomettes, when Uncle Norman served his eviction notice on Boomer he noticed that Boomer was keeping his life savings in a sweetie jar (the jar had previously contained Boomer’s favourite treat, aniseed balls). Uncle Norman advised Boomer that this was not a good idea, and that an unscrupulous character could sneak in and snaffle Boomer’s dosh. Obviously Boomettes Uncle Norman wasn’t thinking about Vale fans, but some of those away fans do look a bit shifty! Boomer asked what he should do, and Uncle Norman advised going to somewhere called a bank and opening something called a bank account.
And so it was Boomettes that one day this week your mascot found himself walking into Old Boslem Town with his life savings in his paws to open an account just as Uncle Norman had advised. I felt a little uneasy about carrying so much cash (nearly £40 Boomettes!) and so had Tom Pope walking alongside me as a doggy bodyguard. No one would dare rob Boomer with Popey around!
For security reasons doggy mascots aren’t allowed into the bank but fortunately just outside the front door there was a grassy area with a bench on it, and so this is where Boomer met Barbara the Banker. Barbara had brought lots of forms with her and filling them in looked very complicated, but with her help, Boomer had completed his application in just a few minutes.
Boomer was a little baffled though Boomettes. If he wasn’t allowed into the bank how could he pay his pocket-money in? And how would he be able to get his paws on his cash. Barbara explained that from now on Uncle Norman would pay Boomer’s pocket-money directly into his account, and if your mascot wanted to withdraw some of his money he could use something called a cashcard in something called a cash machine.
Barbara took Boomer to one of these cash machine devices that was half-buried into one of the bank’s outside walls. She gave him his very own cashcard (black and gold and white in colour of course Boomettes), showed him how to put it into the machine, showed him how to enter his security code, and then how to check his balance or to choose how much money to take out. What a clever machine Boomettes! Your mascot likes it a lot.
So Boomettes it’s been a really positive week, what with an away win for the Vale and newfound financial security for your mascot. Let’s hope the good times keep coming, surely they will?!
Stay loyal Boomettes.