Boomer goes walk-about

Boomer ventures into territory beyond Vale Park in search of a safe place to hide his bones.

Boomettes, you find your mascot in a very fed-up state. My bone saga drags on, after yet another set-back.

I had decided that it was best to bury my bones away from Vale Park. Now, your mascot doesn’t spend too much time beyond the boundaries of Vale Park but when he does he can’t help noticing that there are many people digging many holes in many roads.

And so your mascot devised a devious plan. He would disguise himself as a road-digger-upper, infiltrate a road-digging-upper gang, and when no-one was looking he’d deposit his bones into the hole in the road. Your Boomer thinks this is a great plan. He gets a safe place to hide his bones, yet someone else digs the hole and someone else fills it in.

And so it was Boomettes that a few days ago your mascot left Vale Park disguised as a road-digger-upper. Wearing his safety boots, hi-viz and hard-hat your Boomer looked very industrious indeed and it didn’t take him too long to find an active hole in the road. Keeping a discreet distance your Boomer observed the comings and goings of the two workmen. Your Boomer was very patient and after a while they both walked away from their hole, probably to get some snapping and a brew.

Your Boomer spied his chance. He nimbly made his way to the hole in the road, and was just about to deposit his bones into it, when, “Excuse me?” came a voice from behind. Your Boomer spun round to see the third member of the digger-upper team standing immediately behind him. He wasn’t angry Boomettes, just a little puzzled, baffled as to what Boomer was doing.

Well I’d been caught red-pawed so I though it best to confess all. I explained to Darren the road-digger-upper that I was merely trying to find a safe place to bury my bones. Unlike Steve the Grumpy Groundsman he was very sympathetic, he understood Boomer’s need to have a safe bone storage location, but he was insistent that it couldn’t be in a hole in the road.

He made a very good point Boomettes. He pointed out that if your Boomer dropped his bones into a road-digger-uppers hole, how would your mascot be able to retrieve them. They would be trapped beneath tonnes of rubble and tarmac. Your Boomer hadn’t thought of that Boomettes. Your Boomer’s bones would have been safe but unobtainable. Boomer would have been locked into eternal torment.

Your mascot’s bone situation is becoming desperate Boomettes, and with the new season fast approaching a solution needs to be quickly found. I am determined that by my next bulletin the situation will have been resolved once and for all.

Stay loyal Boomettes.